In relationships, we often feel that we are not understood enough. In relationships, it’s also healthy to state our needs and wants so the other person can have realistic expectations of us, and vice versa. It also takes a lot of effort in a relationship to meet the other person’s expectations and emotional needs. While most of the time a relationship involves a lot of work and effort on both sides, it becomes a lot easier when we are able to express our needs and ask the person to fulfill the same.
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On the subject, psychologist Nicole LePera wrote: “It is important that we learn how to communicate them if we are to have healthy relationships. Our partners can’t read anything about it. They should not “only” know what we want. We are responsible for expressing what we want. At the same time curious about the needs of our partners.” She also shared some tips we can follow to express our emotional needs in a healthy way:
Inform: When we are going through a fight or flight state in a relationship, it is important to let the other person know about it so that they can understand the phase we are in and give us the necessary space to regulate our emotions.
To express: When we understand the triggers we have, we can ask the partner to help us with them.
conflicts: In conflicts we often need reassurances that we are still together in the relationship. We should ask the other person to give us the assurances so we don’t fall into the trap of overthinking.
hobbies: Taking time for yourself to just do what pleases you without involving your partner is also a form of self-love that is important in a relationship.
time: If we need time to process the emotions, we should be open about it with our partners.
physical touch: For some people, physical touch is a confirmation of love and companionship.
communication: In relationships it is very important to be on the same page in terms of finances, values and plans for the future.